Falling

23.02.17

“It’s strange,” said Elara thoughtfully.

“I thought I loved Jackson. Being with him made me feel safe, it was like coming home to a warm bath after a long day. And for a while that was exactly what I needed. But then I realised that that’s not really what love is. You can’t just be with someone because it’s safe. Because it’s easy. Falling for Gabriel was different. I use the word falling because that’s exactly what it felt like. It was almost as if I’d been thrown off a massive cliff, and even now I’m still falling. I can feel the wind rushing past me, my stomach is full of butterflies and my heart is pumping like it’s trying to force its way out of my chest. But even though I’m absolutely terrified, I know that Gabriel is waiting for me at the bottom of this cliff, and I know deep in my heart and soul that he’s going to catch me. Loving him is both utterly terrifying and totally comforting at the same time. I don’t know how thats possible, how something can scare you to death but simultaneously make you feel completely safe. But that’s how he makes me feel. So maybe that’s what love is. Knowing that you’re completely vulnerable but still doing it anyway. Giving someone the power to completely destroy you, but somehow knowing that they won’t. I don’t even know if that makes any sense. But now Gabriel is gone. I’m never going to see him again. So that safety net, the one person who I knew could save me isn’t here anymore. Now I’m just falling.”