Oh! The places you’ll go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to great heights.
— Dr Seuss
Oh the places you’ll go, the things that you’ll see,
Cabin crew is really the best thing to be.
You’ll wear your uniform with such pride,
strutting throught the aiport with a spring in your stride.
Hair in a bun and red lipstick gleaming,
standing at doors 2 positively gleaming.
‘Welcome on board, Good Morning!’ you’ll say,
and before you know it you’ll be off on your way.
‘Doors to automatic and cross check’ you hear,
then across the aircraft for the checks you will peer.
Ready for the safety demo, you’ve done a million
waiting for Chabuddy G to say ‘Thank you Gillian’.
Securing the cabin, repeating yourself,
exuse me, I just need to see your seat belt.
Checks passed on then you take your seat,
the last time for a while you’ll be off your feet.
Service begins, ‘ice and lemon ?’ you ask.
For passengers, this choice is a difficult task.
But you smile away, remember the phrase ‘tits and teeth’
before asking the famous question – ‘chicken or beef?’
Then its tea and coffee before you finally clear in,
then shove down your dinner while customers peer in,
‘Sorry to bother you, I know you’re eating,
but is there any chance you could turn up the heating?’
Or ‘Hi there sorry, can i grab some drinks?’
while you’re stood there eating by a toilet that stinks.
CSM brings the breaks down, you take alook
‘Wow I didn’t realise how long that service took!’
Then you take your break at crew rest or a door,
wake up with your back feeling a little bit sore.
Second service begins, you’ve not got long to go
but whoever knew how much time could slow.
Toilets are busy, all the customers are standing
But finally you hear ‘cabin crew, 20 minutes to landing’.
Rush to secure, put the blankets away,
ready to finally end your working day.
Sit on your seat until you finally hear,
your favourite sound – the landing gear!
It’s doors to manual, and then you try
to not look too excited as you say goodbye.
Get to the front of that long customs queue,
Which is one of the best perks of being crew.
Finally get to your room and jump in the shower,
after all you don’t plan on missing happy hour.
Talk long into the night, the chats get more deep,
before finally deciding to go get some sleep.
A day of exploring or relaxing and then,
you do the whole day all over again!
All that being said, here’s something I’ve learned
being cabin crew is the best job in the world.
Ha ha, really well done you. Hope you get back to that life soon but don’t hold your breath. Waiting for the novel. A.
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